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Retail Gone Wild

So I'm three-deep in a line ringing customers out in the Ladies Department of all places. Before you ask, no, it is not my department, and you couldn't pay me enough to work it. But, if you're above me in rank, you can make me do it. So like a good little bitchboy, I followed orders...sort of.

So I wasn't thrilled to be ringing out old ladies who were pulling out their change purses and tediously counting their pennies to make exact change, flicking aside the lint that had collected there in the 50 years or so that they'd been collecting said coin change, and listening to them relate to me their bowel movements, how wonderful their grandchildren were, and why my Mother must be proud that I have a deep voice. [I]Why, thank you, ma'am. My mother sure is pleased that my voice is sufficiently deep enough. She'll die happy knowing this. Her life is complete.[/I]

Well, I didn't really say that, but I did get this one woman who looked due back at the coffin any minute, and, boy, was she snippy. (Read: bitch with too much money, and probably too many cats.) She managed to somehow turn, "Hello, how are you doing this fine sunny day?" into, after saying "Huh??" three fucking times, "I said 'HELLO, HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE SUNNY DAY???'"

I didn't mean to shout, but she couldn't hear, and she had it coming. However, I didn't expect her to get snippy right back, which I must admit, I rather enjoyed. That is, until she said I looked like I was twelve. I helpfully reminded her that her glasses were draped around her neck, and that if she were wearing them, she'd see the ever so slight receding hairline I have, which was a little better than hers, though I don't think she heard that part.

However, Jimbo, Manager of a Thousand Shirts, did. You ever seen what a fresh, ripe apple looks like? Well, that was about the shade of red he took when he heard me. I guess some people at 60 hear better than others, cuz the old bat didn't hear me, but he sure did. And to be fair, I really do love old people. I mean, really. Who else is going to remind me how young and dashing I really am?

Anyway, back to the deaf (and blind) woman. She shouts, "How much is the total????"

I felt my eardrums rattle for a second, then, once equilibrium took effect again, I responded, in an equally loud voice, "$147.82." She nodded, smiled at the wonderful deal she was getting, and started to pull out cash...in $5s and $1s. Oh, rapture.

All the while Jimmy was turning something akin to a grape. Well...he is 60, so maybe a prune. After spending the next 20 years counting out the cash, she counted change in her change purse...just to see if she had it...she was a penny short...and decided that maybe she should write a check instead...

I looked for the nearest hitman available, but alas, there were none at the ready that day. Must've taken their families out for Memorial Day. I could see the family vacation now: "See kids? That man buried right there...Daddy got paid $10,000 to shoot him, make it look like an Iraqi did it. Be thankful; these men that I killed, this is their day too."

Now, back to the old lady, who is at this point, with a shaking hand that make my seizures seem tame, tried signing her name. After tearing out [B]2 other checks because she couldn't even sign her name[/B] she finally settled on her credit card. Memorial Day was about to have one more person to be remembered if she changed her mind again.

Upon completion of the tranaction, after having grey hairs sprout on my face, I finally hurried away to smoke a cigarette. Of course, guess who was waiting for me...yeah, Him. No, not the band, but Him. He of the Blue Blazer That Never Changes.

"Shaun, why were you so rude to the customer?" he asked me.

"I wasn't rude, I merely pointed out some helpful things." I replied. He then responded with, "Shouting the total of her purchase to where the next cash wrap over could hear isn't what I'd call helpful."

See why we can't get along? Even when I'm being considerate for speaking loudly for the hard of hearing, I still get into trouble. Why can I win?

"I think you should think about what you did. We'll talk tomorrow."

(No we won't, he'll be too afraid that I won't open him any more of his precious credit applications.)

"Sure thing, Jim." Good thing he didn't see the bird I flipped him, eh?

Escape

Wake up. Its 3 am, and its time for
us to go. So grab your bags
and lets make our exits
separately.

I'll be sure to grab my phone, and
make sure its on vibrate
so when I feel it buzz
I'll know you made it to the other side

safely, and that the dog didn't hear.
I'll wait for you to run with all your might
away from that place.
Tonight, we escape, and leave all of this
behind.

So out the window, hearing the dried paint
make noise...
run away, I'll catch up, just run, my dear.
Don't let the leaves deter you,
just run...
just run...

I watch you fade into the night
legs running, your head turned back to look
one last time.

So I'll sit and wait for the phone
to signal your freedom,
and begin the chase for mine.

This is beginning to bug me...

It has been awhile since I've updated this thing, almost a year to be precise. But, as they say, when you have something you want to vent out, get a journal. Since I already have one, and I don't feel like posting it to MySpace or something like that, I'll just come back to an old friend.

In any case, so I just got back from visiting Colorado a couple of weeks ago. I had fun, got to see some people that I've been missing since I left the Mile High City some time back. I met a couple of new people too, and one left an indelible impression on me. Something I wasn't prepared for, to say the least. She's a pretty cool chick, and we hit it off immediately. We went to a place in Denver called the Soiled Dove Underground. We got to see two awesome bands, had a few drinks, and talked the night away. It was by far the best night of the trip. But, leave it to me to make things sour fast.

In the last few weeks, some of my oldest friends have proven to be untrustworthy, to put it mildly. Without going into too great of detail and without spelling it out, my trust in just about everyone was shattered. If it were one or two, I'd just cut them off without a second thought, but it was quite a few of them. Not all in cahoots, but all individual situations, and it's made me sit back and take stock of whom I put my trust in. Fact is, I'm realizing I'm not as good a judge of character as I thought I was, so I immediately started acting like an ass to everyone. That includes the person who I'd only recently started talking to and really started trying to get to know. Since she had only just started talking to me, she really quickly pointed out that I was being an immature jerk and I needed to get over myself, which, in part, she's totally right.

Is this going to stop me from starting to question everything? No, that's not how I work. I've lived my life questioning everything. Its my mantra, really. Accept nothing, question everything. Kinda like a very Moulderesque personality, only its not questioning the Government's motives about aliens like on X-Files, but people in general. Even "nice guys" or "nice girls" fuck people over, for no reason other than being able to do it. Some do it without a second thought, but most do it knowingly, not giving a damn about the repercussions. And I'm not saying I haven't done it, cuz I think EVERYONE has done it. No one is perfect. No one is so innocent that they haven't fucked someone over. But the ones with a heart, a decent set of moral values, have tried to rectify that act with something that might measure up to an equal value of kindness, and an apology to boot.

I wish I could do something more than just apologize to that person, to make up for my selfish words and my immature actions. Unfortunately, I can't do anything more than that. I'm not even sure if she'll forgive what I did, though in all aspects, its not that serious. She's a genuinely great person, and she came around in the final night of my vacation and said, "Let's go out, have fun." I was ditched by friends out there who I'd made plans with, and she didn't want me spending the night in my hotel room, bummed out with that kind of end to my week. She stepped up, which so few have done recently. I can only name one or two who've made that gesture to make it known I can count on them. The rest...I don't even know what to say about them.

I guess I have some waiting to do and hope she comes around. I really think I may have shot myself in the foot this time. And its no one's fault but my own.

Maybe there's hope for me yet...

I finally got off work after a particularly grueling day of watching the clock tick backwards, cuz it was so damned dead tonight. I needed a pack of cigarettes so I stopped at the Shell station on the way to my parents house, off Lightfoot. I bumped into my friend Mandy whom I haven't seen since before I moved to Colorado. She's doing well, and we caught up a little bit.

We got to talking and she related to me aout what I was going through right now with Brandi, and she said that she's seen it done. A lot of times it ends in failure, but she's seen worse cases than Brandi and I that managed to work it out. She gave me one detailed instance. It helped, since I'm basically at the end of my rope when it comes to hoping I can work this entire thing out. So, needless to say, I needed the boost.

I know things do not look good for our hero at the moment to say the least. I did and have still done a lot of stupid things and might be expected to do a few more before this whole thing comes to a close, whatever that closing may be...

Well, I gotta be back at work bright and fucking early tomorrow morning. So, I'm going to do a few things on my MySpace account and then head off to bed. Goodnight everyone.

PS: Brandi, if you're reading this, just know that I'm thinking about you all the time, and I'm hoping for the best. I miss you like crazy, and I hope to see you again soon. We'll be okay. I promise.
God I miss her...

September 17...that was supposed to be the date...I just hope it still comes, even if i have to wait a long time...
Just got back from vacation. The perfect birthday present from Brandi, and the perfect timing for vacation since if I had to go another week at penneys without a vacation i'd have lost my mind along with my job.

Got a little too drunk on my birthday, but i at least remember the time spent at the bar, but i also remember the hangover i had the next morning. I never get hangovers, so it sucked, but I had red lobster the next day, so it was all good. I think over all i had a little too much to drink on my vacation but it is a vacation so i think i really don't give a damn. in fact i know i don't give a damn cuz its a paid vacation, so in some weird way you could say i was getting paid to drink. at least i think so, so why not.

anyways, happy birthday to me, and to those i saw over vacation, thanks for the good times, and i hope to visit soon.

peace.
Happy birthday Micha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


You Are a Liberal Republican



When you tell people that you're Republican, they rarely believe you.

That's because you're socially liberal - likely pro-choice and pro-gay rights.

You're also not so afraid of big goverment, as long as it benefits people and not politicians.

You are the most likely of any Republican type to swing over to the Democrat side sometimes.



Mutiny in the work place...

Okay, visualize this...

It's only 15 minutes after you're scheduled to be off, but it is 11:15 at night. The night before Thanksgiving. You have an entire department store, all two levels and about 100,000 sq. ft. (I think, I'm not a contractor) and you have roughly 30 pages of doorbusters to have signed and ready before you leave. There are three actual associates doing the work, and another 10 bithcing and grumbling about being there that late. Then, a ringleader for that group yells that they should all walk out. Just march up to the second in command of that store, Wayne, and tell him that their going home, and the hell with what he thinks. But that's all fine and good. but then you try and turn this lynch mob onto the associates actually working on it and say that we are part of the problem.

Now, aside from them bitching about everything, which is getting on my nerves, how am I part of the problem. How is free overtime a problem? Let me tell you how...

We're doing the work, and that makes management think that everyone should do it if we're willing to.

It's nice to know I'm part of the problem, especially if the problem gets me more money, which I won't turn down.

But, anyway, so we have a near mutiny in that place, and let me tell you, it was a laugh riot. I only wish some of you could've been there to witness this with me, cuz it would've made for a good story to go with that turkey dinner.

In any case, Happy Thanksgiving.

Oct. 19th, 2005

Lots of things going on, but only two things worth mentioning.

Number one, congrats to my friend Andy Rose and his girlfriend Sharon Avant on their first child, a baby girl named Madison. Beautiful girl from the pictures I saw.

Number two, the manuscript is coming along nicely. I'll hopefully be able to get up a seperate LJ account just strictly for the manuscript (or at least pieces) on a friends only basis (I can only trust the ones I know not to plagarize my shit).